Twins Palava👬
😀You people should know that English is hard, more reason I decided to write this the way it is coming to my mind. Grammarians biko don't fish for errors, e nu go, odikwa intentional. I hope you haf also noticed my embellishment of igbo language😀?
🚩So, in this section of the universe NYSC decided to throw me. Me was jejely strolling with my roomie and this chubby woman with two kids, one strapped to her back and the other in front, comman walk up to us saying, "corpers, twins are greeting you". Me kè, greeting me, twins that cannot talk yet abi? It is like you want to use us to play soft work. Did I say the woman was with a big black bag💼? I didn't abi, that's because I didn't notice at first. Me just kept walking o, I'm in no man's land, I cannot comman be talking too much to strangers. Na so my Mama teach me, you can ask her.
🏦Fast-forward two days later, I con go collect the change in my piggy bank, ATM to be precise. I saw mummy twins with her twins boys again, plus big black bag💼, plus umbrella☔ this time at the ATM stand. Because my brain isn't well developed na, I did not quick quick remember. I took her for one of those on the queue. Then one broda collected money, I con hear, "broda, twins are greeting you o". Broda brought out 1k, asked mummy twins to give him #700 change. Mummy twins use style style to check her bag, wasting time, broda asked for #500 instead, she gave him sharp sharp before the broda will change his mind. Because I have long neck na, I giraffed into mummy twins big black bag, comman see money, I tell you, more that the piecemeal I came to collect sef💰😱. I tell you, mummy twins strategy this time odikwa very tight, ATM stand loun loun. Ok o😷.
👬Mummy twins continued ooooooo, till she told one fair complexioned broda that he will give birth to twins. The fair broda replied, "will I use them to collect money from the bank?". Rejection one, that broda is mean😎. My default grin😀 came out sha, no be my fault, I cannot hold back smiles😊. Then, my turn came, I used my tiny body to cover the ATM so that mummy twins will not use eyes to count my money for me. Then she said, "fine boy, twins are greeting you". Me that kuku know that I am not a fine boy, I did not look back o. Abi, shey you did not read the Bible where lot's wife looked back and turned into a pillar of salt ni? Me kè, no o😇.
🏥Maybe my church mind would have given her money o, but she now said again, "fine boy you will born twins o". Ehn ehn, it haf finish niyen, Anu go m. I don't want twins o. Noooooooo, I don't want them. I only like them from afar. You remember Ebola greeting na, that you will shake people from a distance. That's how my likeness for twins is o. God haf said we should renounce what we don't want na. I want one one child at a time. I am in my very very early twenties, and to me I am growing old already, I cannot comman be lying na. I did not give her money not because I don't want to give her o, but because my conscience told me that if I give her the money that moment, my wife, no no no, my future wife will born twins and I no want am. Gbam!
🏁P.S: I'm not mocking mummy twins struggle o, no way. God gave her those Handsome kids. I am just amazed at her "pin-point-money-collection-strategy". May God bless Mummy Twins wherever she is.
✍
Ogunlana A. Owolabi
🚩So, in this section of the universe NYSC decided to throw me. Me was jejely strolling with my roomie and this chubby woman with two kids, one strapped to her back and the other in front, comman walk up to us saying, "corpers, twins are greeting you". Me kè, greeting me, twins that cannot talk yet abi? It is like you want to use us to play soft work. Did I say the woman was with a big black bag💼? I didn't abi, that's because I didn't notice at first. Me just kept walking o, I'm in no man's land, I cannot comman be talking too much to strangers. Na so my Mama teach me, you can ask her.
🏦Fast-forward two days later, I con go collect the change in my piggy bank, ATM to be precise. I saw mummy twins with her twins boys again, plus big black bag💼, plus umbrella☔ this time at the ATM stand. Because my brain isn't well developed na, I did not quick quick remember. I took her for one of those on the queue. Then one broda collected money, I con hear, "broda, twins are greeting you o". Broda brought out 1k, asked mummy twins to give him #700 change. Mummy twins use style style to check her bag, wasting time, broda asked for #500 instead, she gave him sharp sharp before the broda will change his mind. Because I have long neck na, I giraffed into mummy twins big black bag, comman see money, I tell you, more that the piecemeal I came to collect sef💰😱. I tell you, mummy twins strategy this time odikwa very tight, ATM stand loun loun. Ok o😷.
👬Mummy twins continued ooooooo, till she told one fair complexioned broda that he will give birth to twins. The fair broda replied, "will I use them to collect money from the bank?". Rejection one, that broda is mean😎. My default grin😀 came out sha, no be my fault, I cannot hold back smiles😊. Then, my turn came, I used my tiny body to cover the ATM so that mummy twins will not use eyes to count my money for me. Then she said, "fine boy, twins are greeting you". Me that kuku know that I am not a fine boy, I did not look back o. Abi, shey you did not read the Bible where lot's wife looked back and turned into a pillar of salt ni? Me kè, no o😇.
🏥Maybe my church mind would have given her money o, but she now said again, "fine boy you will born twins o". Ehn ehn, it haf finish niyen, Anu go m. I don't want twins o. Noooooooo, I don't want them. I only like them from afar. You remember Ebola greeting na, that you will shake people from a distance. That's how my likeness for twins is o. God haf said we should renounce what we don't want na. I want one one child at a time. I am in my very very early twenties, and to me I am growing old already, I cannot comman be lying na. I did not give her money not because I don't want to give her o, but because my conscience told me that if I give her the money that moment, my wife, no no no, my future wife will born twins and I no want am. Gbam!
🏁P.S: I'm not mocking mummy twins struggle o, no way. God gave her those Handsome kids. I am just amazed at her "pin-point-money-collection-strategy". May God bless Mummy Twins wherever she is.
✍
Ogunlana A. Owolabi
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